


Blue sky Ranch

by merdarkandtwisty



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Cowboyward, F/M, Olderward
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-11-24 21:53:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18170303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merdarkandtwisty/pseuds/merdarkandtwisty
Summary: Bella Swan's life is turned upside down when her parents are murdered and she is sent to live with her half brother Jasper on the Cullen's Blue Sky Ranch. She needs to defeat her demons. Maybe she'll even fall in love. if only he wasn't so much older. Olderward. Cowboyward.





	1. Chapter 1

I don’t own Twilight

“Bella,” she turned her head and looked at her brother.

“Jasper.” She rushed into her brother’s arms, letting the tears she’d been holding back finally flow freely.

“Oh Bella.” He held his sister close.

“They’re gone.” She whispered. “They’re both gone.”

“I know , I know.” Jasper said his own anguish making the words hard to speak.

“What am I going to do?”

“you’re going to come back to Texas with me, that’s what you’re going to do.” Jasper said pulling her back so he could look into her eyes.

She swallowed “I’ve never lived anywhere but New York.” She whispered.

“Yeah I know you city girl.” Jasper tried to joke, “but you visited me on the ranch with mom a few times.”

“Yeah she hated the ranch.”  Bella chuckled.

“That she did.” He sighed sadly. He’d never see his mother’s bright vivacious smile again. He’d never hear his step father laugh. His sister was broken and he didn’t know how to pick up the pieces of himself let alone her.  “I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner Bells.” He whispered.

“You got here as fast as you could.” She shook her head, trying to expunge his guilt for taking over a day to get to New York after her parents had been murdered in cold blood.

“No god damn it I should have checked my messages.” Jasper railed against himself. He’d been with Alice and he’d shut off his phone.

“Jasper look at me.” Bella demanded. Jasper looked up at her. “I don’t blame you, and you can’t blame yourself. Who we need to blame is the son of a bitch who shot them.”

“Do we know who did it?” he asked leading his sister over to a couch.

Bella swallowed and nodded. “Yes.” She whispered.  “It was an old collar of dads. He had just gotten out of jail and he broke into the house. Shot them well they were sleeping.” She shivered. “I can’t go back there Jas.”

“And you don’t have too. Some of your dad’s fellow officers packed up the house for you. All your boxes will go to the ranch and Renee and Charlies things will be also go there but be placed in storage until you’re ready to go through them.”

“I found them.” Bella whispered. She closed her eyes trying to block out the pictures of her dead parents. Blood so much blood. She remembered screaming and stumbling. She remembered shaking fingers dialing 911. She remembered running back to her best friends house.  She’d been staying there ever since.

“I’m just glad you weren’t there.” Jasper whispered. “If he had lost her too he wasn’t sure what he would do.

“Are you sure your dad and the Cullen’s are okay with me coming to Blue Sky?”

“Of course they are. They wouldn’t have it any other way.” Jasper assured her.  His father was the foreman at the Cullen Ranch Blue Sky. Jasper had been raised their after his father and mother split up. Now he worked as an under foreman.

“I hate being such a burden I wish I could just move out on my own. Angela said I could live with her the last year of school.” Bella said, she had just finished  her junior year the week prior.

“No way.” Jasper shook his head. “You are coming with me and you’re lucky if I ever let you out of my sight. I can’t lose you to Bella.”

Bella watched her brother. Well they weren’t that close growing up being eight years apart in age and living in different states the majority of the time. She knew she’d be lost without him right now.  “The funeral is tomorrow I didn’t want to drag it out. The police helped me set it up fast.” She swallowed. “The Webbers said you could stay here tonight we can leave for the airport right after the funeral I don’t want to be here any more then I Have to really.” She sighed. Even though she’d said she wanted to stay in New York to finish her education she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to fully breath in this city again.

“Okay,” Jasper agreed. “Do you have clothes and everything you’ll need?”  


“Yes.” Bella licked her lips. “I have some things enough to get me though till the rest of my things get to Texas. Angela even gave me a black dress to wear.” She bit her lip.

“Bella why don’t you get some sleep it’s getting late and you look exhausted.

“I can’t sleep the nightmares.” She said looking down at her feet.

“Come here.” He pulled her to his side and laid her head down on his shoulder. “Sleep.” He whispered.

She tried she really did but she woke up three times gasping and tears running down her face. Each time Jasper was there to sooth her and hold her, to let her know she wasn’t alone.

After he’d gotten her back asleep the third time Jasper sat and watched her. He’d nodded to the Webber’s as they’d came into the house one by one a few hours ago. They’d given him gentle smiles. Mrs. Webber bringing him a blanket to wrap around himself and Bella at one point.

“Thank you.” He had whispered trying to not wake Bella. He now wrapped that blanket around her shoulders. “Oh Bella.” He whispered. Tomorrow was going to be tough, tomorrow was going to be pain and despair, tomorrow he would bury his mother and step father and take his sister to Texas. Tomorrow stared a new chapter of his life.

The next morning the Webbers and Bella and Jasper went to the grave site. The grave yard was filled with Renee’s friends and Charlie’s fellow officers. “They were really loved.” Bella said.

“Yes they were.” Jasper agreed.  Just then he spotted someone he wasn’t expecting. “Dad, I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Of course I came son. Renee was once my wife and even though we didn’t see eye to eye most of the time she was still your mother, for that I’ll always be grateful to her.  “Bella.” He looked over at the young woman by his sons side.

“Thank you for coming Peter it means a lot.” She smiled weakly.

“Oh it’s not just me.” He smiled.

“Who else came?” Jasper asked looking around.

“All of them.” He waved and a bunch of people came forward. One short pixie like girl with a black pony tail came forward and kissed Jasper before turning to Bella.

“Hi I’m Alice. I’ve heard so much about you I know we’re going to be great friends. I’m sorry for your loss.”

Bella watched this woman with wide eyes. “Um….”

“Alice you’re scarring her.” Jasper said.

“Sorry.” Alice blushed. Then he looked behind her.

“Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rose, Edward. You guys didn’t all have to come.

“Of course we did. You’re family.” Esme said.

“But who is watching the ranch.”

“Riley.” Carlisle assured him.

Bella’s eyes were glued to a man. She believed Jasper had called him Edward, but no that couldn’t be the Edward she remembered. Of course last time she’d been there she’d been ten and and he’d been a twenty one year old but even then he wasn’t as filled out as he was now.   The years really had filled out Edward Cullen. She shook her head. How could she be thinking about how cute Edward was, for one he was way to old for her. For anther this was her parents funeral. A solemn day.

As people started to leave that day. Bella stood by the freshly dug graves. “I love you.” She whispered on the wind. She didn’t know when she’d be back here again. If she’d ever come back again. Jasper stood by her side and she knew people were waiting for them.

“Are you ready.” Jasper asked gently. She could almost feel him vibrate like he wanted to jump out of his skin.

“Yeah lets go.” She sighed. She turned to leave but turned back at the last second. One last look.

“I’m going to miss you Bella.” Angela flung her arms around her.

“I’m going to be lost without you.” Bella clung to her friend. “I don’t know what I would have done without you and your family the last few days.”

“You’re always welcome back.” Angela assured her. Bella just nodded.

“We have Bella’s things in the car.” Mr. Webber told the gathered group. “Just let me go and get them.” A few moments later he came back with her one lonely suitcase.

“Thank you.” Peter nodded at the other man. “Okay I guess this is good of time as any to get to the airport our flight leaves in a few hours.” He sighed heavily.

The group made their way to the airport and sooner then she realized Bella was loaded onto a plane and they were taking off. Of to a new foreign life. She leaned her head against the window. What was she going to do in Texas. She closed her eyes. Maybe she could outrun the nightmares. She could only hope because she was exhausted.

She looked across the aisle at Jasper who was sitting by Alice. She wished he was sitting by her but she was glad he had someone to lean on. She had to remember she wasn’t the only one to lose parents that bloody night. She shivered, as images came back to her mind. Blood so much blood. Would she ever be able to block it out.

“Are you okay?” she looked up to see Edward looking over at her. He had been sitting beside her but she hadn’t been paying much attention to him.

“No.” she shook her head.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered

She just shrugged. “No way to be okay. I need to learn to live with that.”

“I think you’ll like the Ranch you always seemed to enjoy it as a kid.”

She scrunched up her nose. “Thanks for reminding me I’m so young.”

They spent the rest of the plane ride talking about nothing of consequence and Bella was happy to get her mind off of everything that had happened the last few days.

Finally they landed in Texas, and headed toward her new home. “Time for a fresh start.” She mumbled to herself as the Blue sky ranch sign came into sight. No point looking back.

A/N so I thought I’d start this story. Not sure where it will go but it will be olderward. 11 years difference but nothing will happen until Bella turns eighteen. Jasper is her half brother through Renee. Also cowboyward. LOL hope you enjoy. Drop a review if you did and tell me what you’d like to see next. Your suggestion just might be worked in. ;)

 


	2. Chapter 2

I don’t own Twilight

She walked into the foreman’s house which Jasper and Peter shared. “This will be your room.” Peter led her to a little room with a twin bed. “I know it’s not much I’m sorry.”

Bella gave him a wane smile. “Don’t be sorry.” She shook her head. “You are taking me in and you didn’t have to do that, I’m grateful.  Jasper came in and gave her a smile putting her suitcase down.

“The rest of your things should be here in a few days.” He assured her.

“Thank you.” She nodded. She was exhausted her very nerves were on fray. “I think I’d just like to take a nap if that’s okay.”

“Of course.” Jasper told her, me and my dad will be around the ranch if you need anything. If you can’t find us just go to Esme or Rose they will help you.”

“Okay.” Bella smiled tensely. When they were gone Bella pulled back the covers and crawled into the bed. She fell into a restless sleep.  She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sleeping, what she did know was that she woke up screaming, covered in sweat. Her heart was racing and bile was raising in her throat. She got up stumbling out of the bed and out of the room. She felt like she was going to suffocate under the heat. She found her way into the Kitchen and got a glass of water.

She stood at the sink looking out the window, the cool glass clutched in her hand.  She took a deep breath and downed the water. Running her fingers through her hair she tried to tame it before grabbing a hair band that was around her wrist and throwing it up in a ponytail.  She decided fresh air might help after slipping on her shoes she went outside. She wasn’t used to the hot sticky Texas air. She didn’t see Jasper or Peter around anywhere so she started towards the big house where the Cullen’s lived.

She knocked on the door which was quickly opened, “oh Bella come on in.” Esme beamed at her.

“Thank you.” Bella smiled, she walked into the spacious entry way looking around the big ranch house. “your house is lovely.”

“Thank you dear, why don’t you come into the kitchen I’m making some pies.”

“Oh of course.” Bella followed her, the kitchen was warm and smelled of spiced apples. “you and the men must come to dinner tonight, they can’t cook so they usually eat here.” Esme advised her. She smiled remembering the few dinners she’d shared with the Cullen’s. The house had changed a bit since then though. Just then a blond woman who Bella vaguely remembered from the funeral walked into the kitchen.

“Esme I’m going to town do you need anything?”

“No Rose dear thank you though.” Just then this Rose seemed to notice Bella.

“Oh Hello how rude of me, I briefly met you earlier but I’m Rosalie Cullen, Emmett’s wife.”

“Hello Rose.” Bella gave a small smile.

“Would you like to come to town with me? I’m going to meet with Alice in town we’re going to have coffee.”

“oh um…” Bella trailed off. How was she supposed to tell this woman she didn’t have any money to spend on coffee.

“Rose.” Esme said gently.

“What?” Rose looked over at her mother in law. Then she looked at Bella. “I’m sorry if I offended you in some way.” She said.

“Oh no it’s not that.” Bella fidgeted. “It’s just I don’t have any money for coffee.”

“Oh is that all. I wasn’t asking you and expecting you to buy your own of course I planned to cover you.”

“Oh I can’t do that.” Bella shook her head.

“Bella dear, I think it would be a good thing if you went with Rose get out get your mind off things I’m sure Alice would love to get to know you.”

Bella bit her lip. “Okay.” She finally conceded.

“Great lets get going.” Rose said turning towards the door. Bella felt slightly intimated by this woman.

“Uh okay… bye Esme.” She gave a weak wave following Rosalie out of the house.

Jasper spotted Bella as she walked towards Rosalie’s car. “Hey were are you going?”

“Rose is going to town and asked me to go with her she said she’s meeting Alice for Coffee.” Bella shrugged.

Bella noticed that Jasper paled just a little at the thought of his baby sister and girlfriend talking. “Oh Well in that case here.” He fished out his wallet and tried to hand her some money.

“Nope.” Rose said coming towards them and pushing the money back into Jasper’s hand. “This is my treat so lets go Bella.” She smiled and Bella just shrugged again getting into the passenger side of the car.

Jasper just shook his head as he went towards the barn to get more wire for the fence he was fixing.

“What took you so long?” Peter asked his son when Jasper came back.

“I ran into Bella and Rose, Rose was taking her to Town to have Coffee with Alice.” At that Peter started to laugh.

“Oh  man those three together you should be scared.” Peter shook his head his shoulders moving with laughter.

“Yeah thanks for that.” Jasper grumbled.

“Oh son.” Peter shook his head slapping his son on the shoulder. “Okay lets get this fence finished then I heard Esme was making her famous fried chicken for dinner.”

“Yes.” Jasper pumped his fist he loved Esme’s fried chicken.

As Jasper was being ribbed by his father Bella and Rosalie made their way into town. Rose watched the teenager from the corner of her eye. Her heart went out to the girl. Not that Bella would know this but Rose had went through something similar when she was about Bell’s age. She wasn’t ready to talk about it just yet but maybe one day.

“We’re here.” Rose said pulling in front of a grocery store. “I have to pick up a few things then we’re going to meet Alice over there.” She nodded towards what Bella would guess was a tiny coffee shop on the corner.

Bella followed Rose around the tiny store not really paying attention to what was going on around her. She just followed Rose and when Rose was done gathering her few purchases and paying they placed all the products in the car. Good thing they were all nonperishable. Bella thought to herself.  

“There’s Alice.” Rose pointed across the street to where Alice was waving frantically. “That crazy pixie.” Rose shook her head fondly.

Bella couldn’t help the smirk that came over her face. “She seems to have a lot of energy.”

“Oh you have no idea.” Rose sighed. “Well lets get going before she runs across the street.”

“Finally.” Alice huffed when they made their way across the street. “Bella I’m so glad you could make it.” She hugged her shocking Bella just a little bit.

“Yeah thanks.” Bella said not sure what else to say in this situation.

“Alice let go of the girl.” Rose advised.

“Oh right sorry about that I’m just so excited to meet you Jasper talks about you so much.”

Bella didn’t dare tell this woman that she barely knew her name before she showed up at the funeral. She talked to her brother every week and well he’d mentioned a girlfriend he didn’t talk about her much, not that Bella was one to pry much. She internally shrugged. That just wasn’t the relationship she and Jasper had.

“It’s okay.” Bella assured her.

“Okay girls lets go get some coffee I could sure use the caffeine.” Rose said leading the way into the tiny coffee shop.

“Well this is no Starbucks.” Bella muttered.

Alice snorted. “No city girl it’s not, but let me tell you a little secret. “It’s ten times better, you just wait and see.”

All three ordered something iced, no way they were drinking hot coffee in this heat. Bella sat down at a table gratefully taking a sip of her drink. “Ah that hits the spot.” She said placing her cup down on the table.

“So what do you think?” Alice asked.

“It’s good, not sure if it’s better then Starbucks but it’s good.”

“Girl we will convert you yet.” Alice giggled.

“So, Alice tell me a little about yourself.” Bella requested wanting to know this girl who was her brother’s girlfriend a little better.

“Hmm well I’m twenty-four I teach high school history.”

“Oh so does that mean you’ll be one of my teachers?”

“Yes actually I will, don’t worry I won’t give you too much homework.” Alice winked

“Did you always live here?” Bella asked looking around the little town. Though she’d came to the ranch sometimes as a child she had never ventured into the town.

“I grew up about half an hour away from here. I met Jasper at the university of Texas and well after I graduated I found out their was a job opening here so I thought It was perfect.”

“More like she stalked Jasper here and wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Rose snorted.

“She didn’t really, did she.” Bella looked wide eyed between Rose and Alice.

“No, Alice glared at Rose, “I did not. We had been dating about six months before Jasper graduated and another whole year before I graduated, it just made sense for me to come here. I am close to my parents and Jasper it just works out.”

Bella felt her throat close at the mention of Alice’s parents. She tried to swallow, Rose noticed the distress on her face. “Oh Bella.” She reached over and placed a hand on Bella’s shoulder.

Alice looked horrified after she realized what she’d said. “I’m so sorry.”

“No,” Bella shook her head. “It’s fine you didn’t do anything wrong, you shouldn’t have to tip toe around me just because of what happened.” She gave a tight smile.

She took another sip of her drink and tried not to have a flash back. “I can’t believe I was so thoughtless.” Alice whispered to Rose. Alice Brandon had wanted to make a good impression on this young woman who she one day she hoped would be her sister in law, yet here she was always seeming to put her foot in her mouth.

“You didn’t mean any harm.” Rose assured her friend. “I don’t think Bella will hold it against you.”

“I hope not.” Alice muttered. Rose looked down at her phone and the time glaring up at her.

“I think it times to head back to the ranch.” She announced louder getting Bella’s attention. “Esme will have dinner ready soon, and she hates it when we’re late.”

“Oh yes of course.” Bella jumped up and tossed her now empty cup out.

“Alice I’ll see you later.” Rose hugged her friend. Bella bit her lip and nodded, at the black haired woman really not sure what to say. The awkward tension hung in the air.

“Right of course.” Alice said hoping to break the tension. Bella and Rose left Alice at the coffee shop and headed back across the street to the car. As they headed back towards the ranch. Bella swallowed and turned to Rose.

“Thanks for inviting me out today.”

“Oh of course. I had a great time.” Rose assured her.

“I’m… I’m sorry if I was cold to Alice.” Bella said quietly.

“Oh Bella.” Rose said soothingly. “You are fine. Alice isn’t going to hold it against you. She knows what a hard time you’re going through. This is all a lot to adjust too. We’re all here to make it as easy as we can on you.”

Bella gave a small smile to Rose, she finally found herself relaxing. She wasn’t as intimidated by her as she had been earlier.  They pulled into the Blue Sky and got out heading towards the main house.

“Oh good you’re both here, dinner will be on the table in a few moments.” Esme said as they walked through the door.

“I’ll just wash up can you point me to the bathroom?” Bella asked  not remembering where it was from her last time here.

“Edward.” Esme called out.

“Yes mom.” Edward said coming around the corner.

“Show Bella where the bathroom is so she can wash up would you?”

“Of course, Bella come with me.” He gave her a smile and she felt a light blush covering her cheeks. She hoped he didn’t notice. She followed him down the hall until he stopped in front of a door. “Here you are.” He pointed to the door.

“Thank you.” She told him going into the room and closing the door behind her. She washed her hands and then stood their looking at herself in the mirror. Was she ready to be surrounded by so many people?” she knew she’d be the center of attention.  “Well here goes nothing.” She muttered to herself. She dried her hands and walked back towards the dinning room.

“Bella’s here that means we can finally eat.” A big robust man said. “Bella vaugly remembered him as the Cullen’s eldest son Emmett, Emmett who was Rose’s husband she reminded herself.

“Emmett,” Esme hissed.

“What I’m a growing boy.” Emmett whined.

“Right.” Edward rolled his eyes at his brother.

“Sorry to hold you up.” Bella said sliding into her seat.

“Oh nonsense ignore Emmett.” Esme assured her.  She looked around the table at all these people her new normal. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

A/N thank you so much for all the reviews and favs and follows. Next up the dinner, and well I’m not sure we’ll see where the muse takes me. Reviews are greatly apricated so keep them coming please. To the people that were talking about the age difference in chapter one I made a mistake and it’s now fixed so it says she was 10 and he was 21 the last time they met.


	3. Chapter 3

I don’t own Twilight

“Lets all link hands and bow our heads.” Esme requested.

Bella had forgotten about this tradition of the Cullens. She wasn’t used to doing this but she grabbed Edwards hand on one side and Jasper’s on the other and bowed her head closed her eyes and listened as Carlisle offered the blessing.

Afterwards they all opened their eyes and unlinked their hands, food was passed around and plates were filled.  “This all looks Delicious Mrs. Cullen.”

“Thank you Bella but you can call me Esme.” She smiled at the teenager, she could see Bella was struggling with all the new situations she was being thrown into.

“So how was coffee with the girls?” Jasper asked.

“Fine it’s no Starbucks.” She shrugged.

Emmett snorted into his plate. “Something funny honey?” Rose asked sweetly.

“Nope, nothing at all.” He shook his head. “I just wouldn’t let Jessica hear you compare her coffee shop to Starbucks if you want to live.” He laughed even harder.

“Emmett it’s not that funny.” Carlisle sighed.

“Oh I beg to differ it’s hilarious.” Emmett’s shoulders shook.

“Just ignore my idiot brother.” Edward rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“I’ll try.” Bella looked down at her plate.

“Did you enjoy getting to know Alice?” Jasper asked his sister, he was a little apprehensive to find out her answer.

“Yes she seems nice.”  Bella shrugged she was exhausted she really didn’t want to talk all she really wanted to do was lay down and close her eyes.

When dinner was done Bella picked her up plate and carried it towards the kitchen. “Why don’t you go get some rest.” Rose suggested noticing how pale the younger girl was.

“No, I can help with the dishes.” Bella offered.

“Nonsense.” Esme said coming into the kitchen. “You look exhausted go get some sleep.” Bella tried to stifle her yawn but wasn’t successful.

“Thank you.” Bella said again trying to stifle a yawn. She walked back towards the dinning room and looked around.

“Is everything okay?” Peter asked noticing Bella looking a little lost.

“Oh uh yeah….” She trailed off. “I’m… just..going to …. Go to bed.. if that’s okay…” she wasn’t sure why she was so reluctant to say that. Maybe it was not knowing the rules or not wanting to let the nightmare’s in but either way she was reluctant.

“Of course the door is unlocked.” Peter smiled at her.

“I’ll walk with you.” Jasper said jumping up from his seat.

“Oh, um that’s okay.” Bella tried to wave him away even thought she really would like him to walk her through the dark night. She knew her parents killer was behind bars but she still couldn’t help being scared of the dark.

“No I insist.” Jasper said.

“If you’re sure.” Bella gave in.

“I do so lets go.” They walked back towards their little home. Bella internally cringed at that thought. Their little home it was now her home. She now lived here. In this big land. No sky scrapers in sight.

“Here we are.” Jasper said pushing the door open. Bella startled out of her thoughts, she hadn’t realized they had already made their way to the house.

“Thank you.” She bit her bottom lip.

“Bella.” Jasper sighed.  “I don’t know what’s going through your mind right now and I wish I could take away your pain I really do. Please don’t shut us out. You are  my sisters. You are my link to mom. Please don’t shut me out.”

Bella swallowed and stood up on her tiptoes wrapping her arms around his neck. “I love you Jazz.” She whispered.

“And I love you Bella.” Jasper hugged her tightly.

“Okay, I’m going to get some sleep.” She gave him a small smile and walked into the house. Jasper watched her until he saw the light in the living room flicker on. He then turned and walked back towards the ranch house.

Bella hurriedly brushed her teeth and then she changed into her pjs and crawled into bed, hoping against hope that she wouldn’t have any nightmares.

Jasper walked into the ranch house to see everyone sitting around the table playing cards. “How is she?” Esme asked.

“I honestly don’t know.” Jasper sighed slumping down into a chair. “I want to be there for her, I do and I will but I lost a mother too.” His shoulders sank. I know I’m older and I was raised mainly by my dad but still she was my mother.” He clamped his mouth shut after saying all that.

“Jasper it’s okay to feel that way.” Rose said “No one blames you for your feelings, you’re right she was your mother you have a right to grieve. We are all here to help Bella but please let us help you as well.”

“I think I’m going to go see Alice.” He heaved himself up and left the house. He didn’t see his father shaking his head sadly behind him.

“I wish I could do something.” Peter said softly.

“It will be okay.” Carlisle clapped him on the shoulder.

“I just never thought I’d be sheltering the daughter of my ex wife. That’s something you never think about.” He shook his head.

“Renee was a strong woman, she was healthy there is no way you could have predicted this.” Carlisle reminded him.

“I know but sometimes I look at Bella and I think what if… what if me and Renee had never split up what if Bella was my daughter.”

“What if’s really aren’t that great.” Carlisle sighed sadly. We can only deal with what is.”

“You’re right.” Peter agreed but he was still partially lost in his own thoughts.

Jasper made his way into town and knocked on Alice’s door. He hadn’t even thought to call her. Alice opened the door and smiled. “Jasper I wasn’t expecting you tonight, not that I’m not glad to see you or anything but is everything okay?”

“No.” Jasper shook his head, finally letting the tears fall down his cheeks.

“Oh baby.” Alice took his hand and pulled him into the house. “come here.” She lead him to the couch and sat down pulling him into her arms just letting him cry. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He swallowed and looked up at her. She brushed some of his tears away. “I’m sorry for just showing up like this.”

“Hey none of that.” Alice shook her head.

“I just miss my mom and I’m trying to be so strong for Bella, I just…” he trailed off.

“Come here.” Alice pulled him back into her arms. “If Bella needs to lean on you, you can lean on me it’s fine.” She soothed.

Jasper let out a breath and let his head rest against his girlfriends shoulder. He let himself take some strength from her.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

He stayed with her for a few hours, before he kissed her goodbye. “I have to get back. In case Bella needs me.”

“Of course.” Alice said standing on her tip toes and kissing him. “I’ll miss you, come back soon.” She winked.

“You can bet darling,” he chuckled swatting her butt.

Peter had gotten home and opened the door. He grabbed a book and decided to read for a little bit he’d been reading for about an hour when he heard a scream coming from Bella’s room. He jumped up throwing his book on the floor and rushed in. he flipped the light on and saw her sitting bolt up right in bed a look of terror on her face.

“Bella.” He rushed to her side sitting down next to her. “Are you okay.”

She stared at him as if not seeing him before swallowing and shaking her head. “Just a nightmare.” She hook her head as if trying to dislodge the images. “I’m sorry I bothered you.”

“Bella you are no bother can I get you anything?”

“A glass of water maybe.” She said her throat feeling dry.

“Of course.” He got up and went to the kitchen to get the requested glass of water just then Jasper came home.

“Everything okay?” he asked,

“It will be she just had a nightmare.”

Jasper followed his father into the room and saw Bella sitting up in her bed as his father handed her the glass of water.

“Thank you.” She said taking a gulp of it, and sputtering a little which caused a slight chuckle to escape Jasper.

“Why don’t we leave this light on?” Peter motioned to a bedside lamp. “Do you think that would help?”

“Maybe.” Bella whispered.

“We’ll find some type of night light later.” Jasper promised. Soon the two men had Bella settled back into bed and her door was closed.

“I’m going to bed,” Jasper informed his father who nodded.

“Yeah it’s been a crazy few days.” Peter agreed. They went their separate ways, as jasper lay in bed that night he wondered how they would get through the next few Days weeks and years and wished his mother was still just a phone call away.

A/N thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review, fav an follow.  Hope you enjoy this chapter and leave a review. :)


	4. Chapter 4

I don’t own Twilight

Jasper and Peter met up with Edward, Emmett and Carlisle out in the corral. “So what are we doing today?” Jasper asked.

“We need to start breaking these horses.” Carlisle nodded towards two horses in the corral. “You are going to stay here and help me do that. Well Emmett, Edward and Peter go up and check on the cattle in the west pastor.

“Okay.” Jasper nodded as Emmett, Edward and Peter went off to the job they were tasked with.

“So how is Bella doing?” Carlisle asked.

Jasper ran his hands over his face. “She’s having nightmare’s I mean who could blame her. I told her I’d get her nightlight so that’s now on my to do list.

“What is she doing now?”

“When we left she was sleeping, last night we turned on the bedside light for her. I left her a note for when she wakes up.” Jasper felt himself sag he just felt so tired.

“it will take some adjustment for all of us but we’ll get there.” Carlisle assured him, they then turned their attention away from the topic of Bella and towards the horses they needed to break.

Bella woke up and stretched. She stumbled out of bed and noticed she was alone in the house. She found a note on the table and quickly picked it up reading it.

**Bella**

**We’re out working the ranch, Esme is home as is Rose. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind you coming over.**

**Jasper.**

Bella rolled her eyes. What did he think she needed a baby sitter it was bad enough he was getting her a night light though she couldn’t say she wasn’t grateful for that.  It was boring just sitting in the house so she decided taking a shower and then going to see what was going on a the big house might just be in order, though she’d never admit that to Jasper.

She made her way across the yard and knocked on the door which was opened by Rose. “Oh Bella come on in by the way you don’t have to knock.” Rose said stepping back.

“Thanks.” Bella followed her through the house and into the kitchen where Esme was cooking something.

“Oh good morning Bella I was just getting some stuff ready for the boys lunch. Would you like to take it to them later?”

“Oh Sure.” Bella agreed.

“I’m going to go work on one of the cars.” Rose said. Esme just nodded.

“Would you like to talk about anything Bella?” Esme offered.

Bella shrugged. “Jasper is getting me a night light.”

“Having trouble sleeping? That’s understandable. Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist to help you process everything you’ve been though?”

“No.” Bella shook her head.

“It might help, I know it helped me when I lost someone precious.”

“Who did you lose?” Bella asked softly.

“My baby.” Esme said sadly. Tears gathering in her eyes.

“You don’t have to talk about it.” Bella shook her head.

“No, it’s fine dear.” Esme swiped the tears from her eyes. “She was about a year older then you. You actually met her once but you were to little remember.”

“What was her name?”

“Elizabeth, or Bethy as we called her. She was four when she died. She had cancer, we did everything we could to save her but her little body just couldn’t fight any longer.” The tears were now pouring down Esme’s face as she thought of her daughters life cut to short.

Bella looked around and saw some tissues which she quickly grabbed and handed over to Esme. “Here.” She whispered.

“Thank you dear.” Esme wiped the tears away and tried to give a smile. “So I went and talked to someone it and it took a while. The boys went too. Sometimes I still go. If you want I can set up an appointment for you. “

Bella bit her lip so hard she could taste blood, was that something she really wanted, something she could handle. Well she couldn’t wake up screaming every night that wasn’t going to work out well.  “Okay,” she agreed.

“I’ll talk to Jasper.” Esme reached out and squeezed Bella’s hand. “Oh and I have something for you.” She bustled around and out of the kitchen. A few moments later she came back and laid something in Bella’s hand.

“A night light.” Bella looked down.

“Yes I keep a few around in case we have children staying at the ranch.” Esme patted her hand as Bella pocketed the little light. “Now how about you take some lunch to the boys.” She smiled.

“Okay.” Bella agreed helping Esme pack the hamper and then she walked out of the door.  Esme watched her go. Her mind on a little girl who never got to live her life. “Oh Elizabeth.” She breathed. She crumble to the floor letting out all the emotions she’d held back from Bella and that’s how Rose found her when she came in to wash her hands.

“Esme.” Rose gasped rushing forward, and gathered her into her arms.

“I’m fine.” Esme swallowed and got to her feet with Rose’s help.

“You are obviously not.” Rose shook her head.

“It’s fine.” Esme tired to assure her daughter in law.

“Where’s Bella?” Rose asked looking around the kitchen.

“She went to take Lunch to the boys.”

“Did she do something to upset you?”

“No, no.” Esme shook her head. “Not at all.” She took a deep shuddering breath. “She was telling me how she was having nightmares and I suggested she go see someone to talk to and.. it led me to talking about Elizabeth.”

“Oh.” Rose gasped. Esme hardly ever spoke of the daughter she lost. Emmett and Edward hardly ever even breathed her name and she wasn’t sure she’d even heard Carlisle mention the child.

“After Bella left it just got me to thinking about what Elizabeth would be like now. So grown up getting ready to take on the big world.” She blew out a breath. “Anyway I told Bella I would talk to jasper and set her up an appointment. I think maybe It’s time I Had another one myself.”  Esme took a deep breath trying to regain her equilibrium  she hadn’t let herself feel for Elizabeth in a long time, but Bella needed her so she’d drag up the painful past if it helped the poor sweet girl.

Bella had stopped by the house and dropped off the nightlight in her room before spotting Jasper and Carlisle in the  corral. “Hey.” Bella waved.

“Bella.” Jasper turned to see his sister coming towards him. “What are you doing out here?”

“Esme sent out some lunch.” She showed the basket on her arm. “Where are the other three?”

“They are checking on some cattle.” Carlisle told her. Bella came closer and put the basket down. “Don’t you have other hands around here?” she looked around not noticing anyone else.

“Yes but they’ve been sent out all over the ranch. We have hundreds of acre’s here.”

“Oh. Well I’ll just leave you with your lunch.” She swallowed having trouble looking at Carlisle after knowing that he’d lost something so precious.  She turned to head back towards the house but turned back. “Oh Jasper Esme gave me a nightlight so I’m good.”

“Okay.” Jasper smiled mentally crossing one thing off the list. Jasper and Carlisle ate leaving food for the other three and then they got back to work.

Later that night tired and dirty they trooped into the big house. “I’m starving.” Emmett grumbled.

“Nothing new there.” Edward chuckled.

“Dinner will be on in a moment.” Bella said coming out of the kitchen.

“What is it?” Emmett asked.

“Spaghetti and meatballs.” Bella beamed. “Esme actually let me help her. I have missed cooking.”

“You cook?” Peter looked at her wide eyed.

“Yeah I love cooking.” Bella nodded.

“Maybe we’ll actually have to get grocery’s for the house son.” Peter winked at Jasper.

“Now that would be a novelty,” Jasper chuckled. “I think the last time anything was ever cooked in there we almost burned the house down.”

“Oh come on it wasn’t that bad.”

“Not that bad.” Edward shook his head. “The fire department had to be called and my mother banned you from ever using a stove again.”

“I would be happy to cook.” Bella put in.

“Thank you Bella.” Jasper smiled.

Soon they were all sitting around the dinner table enjoying a nice family supper. After dinner Esme pulled Jasper and Peter into the library.

“Is Everything okay?” Peter asked.

“Well… I talked to Bella today.”

“is she okay?” Jasper asked worry tinging his words.

“Not really she was telling me about her nightmares.”

“That’s when you gave her the night light right?” Jasper asked. “Thank you for that.”

“Oh that was the least I could do.” Esme said. “I got to talking to her and I suggested that maybe she should see someone professional to talk to. I explained how it helped me.” Neither man made mention of why Esme would need such a service. Both knowing how touchy the subject was. “Bella agreed, so I told her I’d talk to you two, and with your permission set up an appointment for her. I think it’s best if maybe I’m put on Bella’s medical files, along with the two of you.” She grabbed Jasper’s  hand. “I’m not saying that you won’t do the best for Bella. but maybe having a woman able to help her with all these decisions will be best.”

“Yes you are probably right.” Jasper shook his head. “Thank you Esme I think we’d all be lost without you.” He bent down and kissed her cheek.

“It’s my pleasure.” She smiled at the man she thought of like a son. “I’ll get everything sat up.”

With that the two men and Bella left and headed home and to bed, well the nightlight didn’t solve all of Bella’s issues it did make it so the dreams weren’t as harsh as in days prior. Slowly but surely they would all heal and Esme Cullen would be a major factor in that.

A/N thanks to everyone who reviewed, faved and followed, please continue to do some. Bella getting help came from a reviewer and from that idea I spawned the idea of little Elizabeth Cullen. Her story will pop up throughout.


	5. Chapter 5

I don’t own Twilight

Bella was slowly healing as the days moved forward, Jasper on the other hand was falling deeper into a depression.

He tried to be strong for his sister. He tried to stay up right and not let his own issues over cloud what Bella needed but it was hard, he loved his mother, he missed his mother but he hated her in equal measure and now she was gone and they’d never fix their fractured relationship.

Renee Higglebottom Whitlock Swan had left her first husband and four year old son because she wanted the bright lights of New York,  she hadn’t wanted to be a mother, she’d wanted her name up in lights. She wanted the face pace of New York not the slow life of Texas. So one day she’d packed her bags left divorce papers on the table and kissed Jasper goodbye as he slept.

Peter hadn’t heard from his estranged wife for three weeks after that. When she’d finally called him she’d given him an address and Phone number and promised to visit when she could, and she had. Once a year for a few days at a time she’d visit the Blue Sky and her son. Then she’d fly home to her life in New York.  That was all the time she had to devote to her son.

When Jasper was six Renee had married Charles Swan a police Officer in New York and well she still tried to have those lights shine on her she startled to settle down, because to her at least it was still New York and not dusty Texas.  

When Jasper was eight Bella had been born, Renee had missed her yearly visit that year, being so heavily pregnant. Jasper had resented his sister for at least the first two years of her life. When she was three Renee finally made her trip back to Texas.  Not that Jasper hadn’t seen his mother or met his sister. No he went to New York briefly during Winter break when he was eight. Meeting his three month old sister.  Those trips were few and far between too because Peter couldn’t get away from the ranch often and he refused to allow his minor son to travel alone.

Renee never did gain her dream of seeing her name in lights but she did settle into the mother role to Bella, Jasper hated that, Renee had stayed for Bella, Bella had a full complete family. Jasper always knew his father loved him, but he never felt like enough for his mother.

Renee had kept her yearly visits up until jasper was eighteen and Bella was ten. Then she’d abruptly stopped, she’d told Jasper she hated Texas and he was an adult now if he wanted to see her, he could come to New York.  So he did a few times, in between taking classes and meeting Alice but he never really felt like he belonged with his mother, he loved his sister, and now after everything that had happened he hated himself for resenting her. She’d had the perfect life and now here she was, stuck in a state her mother hated, with a brother she barely knew and people she only vaguely remembered from her childhood.

One day he found himself going into the big house and looking for Esme. “Hello.” Esme smiled up at him.

“Esme.” He reached down and hugged the woman who if they were honest had been more a mother to him then his own.

“Jasper are you okay?” she asked the young man, he was never really one to be demonstrative. So him hugging her sent alarm bells off in her head.

“I’m… not really.” He shook his head.

“Come sit with me.” She led him into the family room and sat on the couch touching the spot next to her.

Jasper sat down and tried to figure how to start the conversation he knew he needed to have. “Esme first I want to thank you for all the help you’ve given Bella, she has really been lighter since you sat up the appointment with the councilor. She’s went to one appointment and she seems to be doing well.”

“I’m glad I could help her.” Esme patted his hand. “Now it’s you I’m worried about though talk to me Jasper.

“Well the thing is I’m struggling and I was wondering if maybe you had the number for another councilor someone I can talk to about my… well my anger, resentment and guilt.”

Esme smiled sadly and stood up. “I’ll be right back.” She said quietly. A few moments later she came back with a card in her hand. “I think this will help you.” She slipped the card into his hand and he read it Dr. Aro Volturi.

“ Thank you.”  He nodded pocketing the card.

“Anytime I’m always here Jasper, I know I’m not your mother, I know I can’t take her place but I’ve always seen you as another soon. She patted his cheek as he blushed.

“love you Esme.” He smiled standing up.

She just smiled softly as she watched the young man walk out. Life was a long difficult journey she could attest to that herself.

Jasper got back to the house he had always shared with his father, that he once shared with his mother, and that now he shared with his orphaned sister. Twenty five and in charge of a seventeen year old. Well soon she’d be eighteen just a few months. She’d turn eighteen and she’d start her senior year of high school and then it would be off to college for her.

Jasper made the call and set up and appointment for himself and then he sat back and thought about the one person he hadn’t really thought about as he considered him mother and his sister. Charles Swan. His step father.

He couldn’t really say he knew the man, Charlie Swan had never came to the ranch and Jasper had only superficial interactions with him when he’d been in New York. A part of him, no matter how irrational blamed Charlie Swan for everything. If Charlie hadn’t been a cop, they would still be alive, Bella wouldn’t be an orphan. So many if’s. he shook his head no use thinking of all of that.

“Hey Jasper.” He looked up to see his sister coming through the door.

“Hello Bella how was your day?”

“Good I went to the store with Rose and got some grocery’s for tomorrow. I told Esme we’d have dinner with them tonight.”

“Okay.” Jasper readily agreed. Going to his sister and releasing  her of the bags she had in her hands and helping her put everything away.

A few hours later, Jasper, Bella, and Peter made their way to the big house.

A/N so shorted then usually but a few people were questioning Jasper and his motives and feelings so I thought this chapter was needed. Next up Bella will think about her therapy. Her and Edward will interact a bit and we’ll see. Someone asked Bella and Edward’s ages. Bella is 17 almost 18 and Edward is 28.  Thanks for all the reviews, favs follows. Keep them coming.


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